Lady Marchmain

My  poor child has been kicked out of the adulterer's lair--something to do with behavior.  That they  sit there night after night swilling booze apparently doesn't seem relevant to them.  Now he has no home, as he says, Home is gone--that is what my boys say.  The father is only a person to them now, not a parent. He said it is "his turn to be happy". My eldest thinks he is on acid. It all sounds so alien, so foreign---like it's not real, and you wake up and it hits you in the face.

Last night I dreamt about my family, but the difference was that they would ask questions or make remarks--all of this about ordinary  erveryday things (we were all in the kitchen) and I started engaging in the conversation--I mean, really  talking. Until I woke myself up and realized  no one was here. I still keep epection  some relative  to crawl out of the woodwork.  It wouldn't  be scary. We could sit down, have a nice cup of coffee, and chat.

I've been kept away by  poweroutages and lost keys and various other snafus.   Tomorrow I am going back home to check on oldest child who is under the weather.  I really would like to live closer to them, but that is apparently not to be for a while. 

I  am enough  out of my recent black depression to be able to listen to music,talk to phone menu people, and admit that there are some days I absolutely must give in and say that i feel good. So i said it. Met the lovely girls next door--now I feel like I have  neighbors. Saw my  friend's farm up in the hills. It is beautiful up there.

I left Franciscan  not because it was a bad school, but because I am just not suited to it--whether by my sjc education, my age, the stilted way in which I called professors "Dr.">  Gad,  it still sticks in my throat. I learned about SJC a lot.  And how much we should fall down on our knees and kiss  the ground when approaching campus. Alma Mater

I n likethis  picture,from the  movie.

I am in the Slough of Despond, which is terrifically  boring for all others---anyway,  a friend's parent died and I am ruminating on Things Lost.  I read somewhere that one  reason Jesus associated with the poor and unfortunate was that they know what the world  is really like. The reason we Christians don't always get tons of converts is  that we recognize that well enough  but completely  forget about heaven.  Oh yes, it's real.

If you go over the Beatitudes you'll see how, compared to the rules of life here and now, they are upside down--not suited to this  place at all. They can begin here, of course, but to me they express the way the universe will be. But there is so much more that can be said.

Anyway here they are--I couldn't resist copying the other stuff too.

	And seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him:
2	and he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying,
The Beatitudes
Lk. 6.20-23
3	¶ Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4	¶ Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. Is. 61.2
5	¶ Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. Ps. 37.11
6	¶ Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. Is. 55.1, 2
7	¶ Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
8	¶ Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God. Ps. 24.4, 5
9	¶ Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
10	¶ Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: 1 Pet. 3.14 for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11	¶ Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. 1 Pet. 4.14
12	Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets 2 Chr. 36.16 · Acts 7.52 which were before you.
The Salt of the Earth
13	¶ Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savor, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. Mk. 9.50 · Lk. 14.34, 35
The Light of the World
14	¶ Ye are the light of the world. Joh. 8.12 ; 9.5 A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid.
15	Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; Mk. 4.21 · Lk. 8.16 ; 11.33 and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
16	Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. 1 Pet. 2.12

Have made decision to move to NH sometime when I save up enough...still lots of snow, and possibility of grandchildren some day. Ohio is lovely but I  think I mystify the locals.Hopefully they are more used to  wierdos in New England.

Hey, no more nastiness. It leaves a bad taste  I mean, from  me.

Waiting for snow, don't ask why,I just love it. Going out to be counseled tonight and am going to break my diet with double quarter pounder withcheese.

Breughel

It is  supposed to snow tonight.  I can't wait.I love snow. I am  a snow addict.  Of course, I  don't have to drive in it.

I like things to look beautiful, I suppose.  Here in America we don't get enough beauty.  Christmas, I think, is one of the few chances most people have to indulge their sense of the beautiful--it doesn't have to be perfect, in fact, it can be what  a lot of people call tasteless. Or tacky.  But  I love  people's enthusiasm in putting up their Christmas lights and decorating their trees and houses.  The opportunity to express our love of the beautiful, even in mundane ways, is like food for the starving here.  And anyone who believes that "ordinary people"  (there is no  such thing  a an ordinary person) can't appreciate beauty  is a --well, is a snob and a phony.  Maybe that's why there's such revolting art these days---the culturati want to be a closed society.  I think they have  accomplished that.